Deployments....

This is my fourth deployment and by now you would think I would be a pro at this but I am not. I know all the rules and I know what to do however it does not make the impending dread any easier. I keep telling myself to breathe, I keep plastering a smile on my face but ARGH.....

So many things are different with this deployment. We have a dog who is a complete psycho & hates to be alone! We have Trevor, who at 17 has never experienced a deployment. We have Austin who is on his fourth deployment at 10 years old. We live in a small town & I am away from my sanctuary ~ my family~ the place where I would run & hide when I needed to. Did I mention we live in a small town???

There are some positives as well though. Austin will have another person to experience this with. I will be volunteering with Austin's school & with the family readiness program. With Brian leaving soon, we will be in the holiday rush; presents, decorations, friends & festivities. The holidays always seem to pass in such a blur & as much as it SUCKS that Brian will be gone for them, they will help to pass the time.

See I can also see the positive. LOL

I still cannot shake this dread, maybe it is that I am away from my family, the fact that he has never been where he is going or that the place he is going is in shambles. Does it really matter why I feel the way I do though? Nope, it doesn't because my job is to stand up and take care of this side. I have to make sure everything runs smoothly here, so he can concentrate there.

Done with my pity party now, at least for the next few weeks. ;) MAYBE