Random thoughts from this weekend

This week was pretty strange for me. It was good for my husband to be home from school, it amazes me how alone I can feel at times even though I have such an amazing support group of friends & family. Sometimes the phone & the computer just doesn't replace actual face to face communications! So my husband was home & we were back to the grind, dinner, cleaning, bills etc... You all know how that goes but the excitement of him being home was muddled by the knowledge that once again I would be alone all weekend.

Then on Thursday my dear friends house was broken into. It made me so angry that these people came into her home & in 20 minutes completely gutted the whole thing. The kids game systems, (who steals from kids???), tossing a babies room (again who does that?), completely turning her room upside down. In 20 minutes they took my friends safe and secure home and violated it. People Suck (plain & simple)! My friend is an adult & she can handle this kind of thing but how do you do that to children? I can say that my friend has amazing strength though & she will deal with this all amazingly like she always does.

I spent WAY to much time on facebook & myspace this weekend looking at pics of old friends & talking to a few. It amazes me how far my group of high school friends have come. Some bonds are still there, while other bonds I miss a lot but regardless of whether I talk to them or see there picture on another site it makes me sentimental for the good ole days. Funny thing is I love my life now, the person I am now & the good ole days were not that good.

I think the thing I miss the most is the bond of having a group of friends who at the time our whole lives revolved around. Most of us were as screwed up as can be, though I will say there were a few normal ones in the group, very few. Also the feeling of being young, reckless, and carefree. How can you not look back & feel a little sentimental when there are bills to pay, mouths to feed & you hold the fate of people's lives in your hands? So much responsibilities vs none; it's easy to see why I may look back at high school & think the good ole days when in my head I am SO glad to be away from those days.

Then there are the friends that haven't changed; they still live there lives w/ the philosophy we held as kids. This is not a judgement of their lives now just a reflection. I wonder how we got out & they didn't. Could I had made a difference if I talked more to them, visited more often, instead of leaving the past behind as I did ? or would I have been sucked right back in if I would have stayed in touch? I know I am big on personal responsibilities and choices. We all had a choice, we all came to a crossroads in our lives and chose a path but I still cannot help but feel a little guilty at times. Then I look at the friends that did make something out of their lives, they are happy and thriving and I can smile again!

A few of my old friends may read this & I would just like to say I Love You Guys & I am so happy that you are still part of my life!

Brian is on his way home today, as he was just gone for the weekend :) The races went well and him & his unit were able to earn a lot of money for there ball fund! He is tired but he had such a great time. For those of you who do not know, he was working at the Pinks All Out, drag racing in Charlotte NC. They had the Marines selling beer & cooking food. Trust me when I tell you this is such a scary thought!

I have been debating lately on whether to join LINKS & the Family Readiness program. I feel really disconnected as a Marine Wife & i know these two programs are a great way to reconnect with that part of my life.

I am trying to find a good balance because I tend to lose myself into things, whether its being a mother, a friend, a marine wife, a student, etc... I need a balance that allows me to be ME & all these things as well. if I figure it all out, maybe I will blog about it LOL

Okay long reflection, rant, blog, whatever you feel like calling it is now over! Thanks for enduring it for me. :)